Halocho #1016 - Honoring Parents and other family members

Honoring parents includes feeding them, clothing and covering them as well as accompanying them. 

All the above must be done cheerfully - as the attitude counts more than the actions; one gets punished for being dour around ones parents even if one treats them with delicacies.

One may not sit nor stand in ones parents designated place in shul or at home or anywhere else where they may have a designated place. 

One may not contradict one's parents. One may not approve of one's parents in their presence (e.g. I see your point) as this indicates that one would have the ability to say otherwise. 

Even if parents insult one in public one may not upset them, though one may take legal action to recuperate any monetary loss they caused.

A person must honor his grandparents, as well as his father's wife and his mother's husband, his father-in-law and his mother-in-law.

A person must honor his older brother; even if he's a half-brother.
Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 142:1, 143:3, 19,20

- Danny,
Tuesday, 19 Tevet 5773

Halocho #786 - Why do the firstborns fast?

Why don't firstborns celebrate the fact that they were saved from the 10th plague - the smiting of Egyptian firstborns?

On Erev Pessach - this coming Monday - all firstborns will fast in memory of them fasting in Egypt on Erev Pessach, to ensure they wouldn't be punished along with the Egyptians in the 10th plague.

The Hallel said at the Seder includes praise for their delivery.

All firstborn males fast; even if they're only a firstborn to one of their parents.

Even firstborns who are exempt from Pidyon haBen - like Cohanim, Levites or being born after a stillborn - also have to fast.

The father of a young firstborn needs to fast for him.

Whether a firstborn (or his father) may attend a Se'udat Mitzva like a Siyum, Brit or Pidyon haBen and break his fast to participate in the meal, depends on local / family custom.

After breaking his fast, he can eat the rest of the day.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 113:6, 115:2

- Danny
Tuesday, 8 Nissan 5770

Halocho #752 - Who does a Pidyon HaBen at his Bar Mitzva?

Usually a firstborn baby boy whose father is a Cohen or Levi, or his mother is the daughter of a Cohen or Levi does not need a Pidyon HaBen.

If the firstborn's mother is Jewish but his father is not, then he does his own Piyon at his Bar Mitzva.

A daughter of a Cohen or Levi who slept with a non-Jew has lost her special status and does not exempt her firstborn son from a Pidyon HaBen, even if the firstborn's father is Jewish.

A firstborn who was orphaned from his father before his Pidyon HaBen, should get redeemed by Bet Din, not by his mother.

A firstborn who was not redeemed as a child, needs to do a Pidyon HaBen to himself as soon as he finds out; once he becomes Bar Mitzva.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 164:7, 8

- Danny
Tuesday, 18 Adar-I 5771

Halocho #722 - Educating children

A father must educate his children to do all mitzvos (Torah and Rabbinical) that are appropriate to their age.

One also needs to prevent a child from doing any sin which he is capable of relating to, starting with telling the truth, eating only Kosher and not carrying things on Shabbat (in areas where one may not carry, i.e where there is no Eruv.)

A child who stole must return the theft if it exists. If it no longer exists then he needn't return its value even after he becomes an adult. However, in heaven he will be required to account for the theft, so it's recommended to make amends.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 165:1-6

- Danny
Tuesday, 6 Shvat 5771

Halocho #711 - Long time no see

If one is happy when seeing a very dear friend (including spouses, parents, siblings and teachers) after not having seen them for 30 days, one makes the Bracha of Shehechiyanu:

"Blessed... who has kept us alive, sustained us and permitted us to reach this occasion."
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה', אֱ-לֹקֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם

 שֶׁהֶחֱיָינוּ וקִיְּמָנוּ והִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְּמָן הַזֶּה

One can make this Bracha even if one received letters from them during this time.

If one has not seen them for more than 12 months one makes this Bracha instead:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה', אֱ-לֹקֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם
מְחַיֵּה הַמֵּתִים
"Blessed... who revives the dead".

This is because anything 12 months old is considered to be forgotten. Therefore, if one communicated with them - or received regards from them - during the past 12 months, one says Bracha of Shehechiyanu.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 59:20

- Danny
Sunday, 19 Tevet 5771

Please daven that Nathan ben Beila should have a successful operation tomorrow.

Halocho #507 – Respecting parents

If your mother requests something be done and your father then asks "who asked you to do this?", and giving the correct answer will cause animosity between your parents, then you should not blame your mother, even if this causes your father to be angry at you.

One is obligated to stand when either parent enters the room.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143: 6 – 7.

- Danny
Wednesday, 19 Shvat 5770

Halocho #506 - Waking one's parents

This Shabbat we will read the 10 commandments - so we are reviewing the laws of the 5th commandment.

One may not wake up one's parents even if it is going to cause one a major monetary loss.

However if one's parents are going to suffer a monetary loss and they will be distressed over the loss then one must wake them.

So too one should wake them in time for prayers or for any other Mitzva.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:4

- Danny
Tuesday, 18 Shvat 5770

Halocho#505 - Honoring Parents

Honoring parents includes feeding them, clothing and covering them as well as accompanying them.

All the above must be done cheerfully - as the attitude counts more than the actions; one gets punished for being dour around ones parents even if one serves them delicacies.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:3

- Danny
Monday, 17 Shvat 5770

Halocho #504 – Respecting parents

This Shabbat we will read the 10 commandments - let's review some of the laws of the 5th commandment.

One may not sit nor stand in one's parents designated place in the synagogue or at home or anywhere else where they may have a designated place.

One may not contradict parents.

One may not approve of one's parents in their presence (e.g. "I see your point"), as this indicates that one has the ability to say otherwise.

Even if parents insult one in public one may not upset them, though one may take legal action to recuperate any monetary loss they caused.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 142:1

- Danny
Sunday, 16 Shvat 5770

Halocho#499 - Educating children

A father must educate his children to do all Mitzvos (Torah and Rabbinical) that are appropriate to their age.

One also needs to prevent a child from doing any sin which he is capable of relating to, starting with telling the truth, eating only Kosher and not carrying things on Shabbat (where there is no Eruv.)

A child who stole must return the theft, if it exists. If it no longer exists then he needn't return its value even after he becomes an adult. However, in heaven he will be required to account for the theft, so it's recommended to make amends.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 165:1-6

- Danny
Sunday, 9 Shvat 5770

Halocho #356 - Dissolving ice and fat on Shabbat

One may put congealed fat onto hot food on Shabbat even though it will dissolve. One may not crush snow or ice in order to help them melt faster. One may put ice into liquids in order to chill them, even though the ice will melt. Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 80:13 Shabbat Shalom, - Danny, Thursday, 3 Tamuz 5769 Please daven for a complete recovery for Tamar bat Naama - תמר בת נעמה

Halocho #349 - Calf and mother; can one eat them together?

It's a Torah prohibition to slaughter a calf and its mother on the same day.

It does not matter which animal was slaughtered first.

Even if the calf and its mother belong to 2 different people, it's still prohibited.

Even though it's prohibited, the meat of both animals is Kosher.

It does not matter how old the calf is.

One may slaughter a calf and its grandmother on the same day. If later on the same day one slaughters the mother/daughter, one transgresses 2 Torah prohibitions.

It's a debate if this prohibition applies to a calf and its father - even if one is 100% sure of the pedigree of the calf.

As in most of Jewish law, the day starts at sunset and ends the following day at dark.

There is no prohibition eating meat from a calf and its mother on the same day.

Source: Rambam, Hilchot Shechita (12:2)

- Danny Tuesday, 24 Sivan 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for Chaya Uhdel Leah bat Shayna Yenta.

Halocho #301 - Why do the firstborns fast?

Why don't firstborns celebrate the fact that they were saved from the 10th plague - the smiting of Egyptian firstborns?

On Erev Pessach - Wednesday next week - all firstborns will fast in memory of them fasting in Egypt on Erev Pessach, to ensure they wouldn't be punished along with the Egyptians in the 10th plague.

The Hallel said at the Seder includes praise for their delivery.

All firstborn males fast; even if they're only a firstborn to one of their parents.

Even firstborns who are exempt from Pidyon haBen - like Cohanim, Levites or being born after a stillborn - also have to fast.

The father of a young firstborn needs to fast for him.

Whether a firstborn (or his father) may attend a Se'udat Mitzva like a Siyum, Bris or Pidyon haBen and break his fast to participate in the meal, depends on local / family custom.

After breaking his fast, he can eat the rest of the day.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 113:6, 115:2

- Danny Tuesday, 6 Nissan 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for Tamar bat Naama - תמר בת נעמה

Halocho #268 - Honoring step-parents

The Ten Commandments are in this week's Torah reading.

Included in honoring ones mother and father is the Mitzva to honor ones father's wife and ones mother's husband even if they not ones parents.

It's is appropriate to honor step-parents even after ones parents are no longer alive.

However, honoring ones parents take precedence over honoring ones step-parents.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:19

- Danny Wednesday, 17 Shvat 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for Rachel-Leah bat Chaya-Sarah - רחל לאה בת חיה שרה

Halocho #267 - Honoring the in-laws

The Ten Commandments are in this week's Torah reading. Included in honoring ones mother and father is the Mitzva to honor ones father on law and ones mother in law. However, ones parents take precedence over ones in-laws. Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:20 - Danny Tuesday, 16 Shvat 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for David Farhad ben Rachel Pari

Halocho #221 - Abusive parents

If a person is wearing his finest and chairing a large meeting, and his father or mother come and tear his clothes and hit him over the head and spit in his face, he may NOT embarrass them nor cause them pain nor display any anger towards them.

Rather one should remain silent and fear ones Father in Heaven who commanded us to respect and honor ones parents.

However one may demand payment for the damage, and even take them to Bet Din if needed.

One may move away from ones parents - and ask other people to look after them - if one isn't capable of dealing with their emotional state.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:2, 16

- Danny Monday, 11 Kislev 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for Tamar bat Naama - תמר בת נעמה

Halocho #218 - Do married daughters have to respect their parents?

Sons and daughters both have the same obligation to fear and respect their parents.

However, if a daughter has a conflict between respecting her parents or her husband, then her husband has priority.

However, if her husband doesn't mind, then her parents have priority.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:13

- Danny Wednesday, 6 Kislev 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for Tamar bat Naama - תמר בת נעמה

Halocho #217 - Don't listen to your parents??

We already learned that if a parent requests one to sin, one must not obey. When else do you not have to obey your parents? If your parents don't approve of your choice of marriage partner, you do not have to obey them (at your own risk). If you want to go learn Torah somewhere, and you are convinced that only there can you fulfill your potential, and your parents do not want you to go there, you do not have to obey them. We learn this from this weeks Parsha; Yaakov's parents instructed him to go to Uncle Lavan, and Yaakov decided to detour to the Bet Hamidrash of Ever for 14 years. Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:12 - Danny Tuesday, 5 Kislev 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for Tamar bat Naama - תמר בת נעמה

Halocho #212 - Not obeying ones parents

We learned yesterday that one may not contradict ones parents. However, if a parents requests one transgress a Halacha, one must not obey them. This is because both parents and children are required to obey Hashem. Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:11 - Danny Tuesday, 27 Marcheshvan 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for Tamar bat Naama - תמר בת נעמה

Halocho #211 - Correcting parents

One may not contradict ones parents. One may also not correct them. However, if a parent is doing something against Halacha, one should say to them "Doesn't it say in the Torah such-and-such". This should be said in a questioning manner and not as a rebuke. The parent will then understand how to correct their behavior. Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:10 - Danny Monday, 26 Marcheshvan 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for Tamar bat Naama - תמר בת נעמה