Halocho #2423 - The Kotel is in our hands

The Kotel ("Wailing wall") is the Western retaining wall of the Temple Mount where the Bet HaMikdash (Temple) stood until it was destroyed over 1,900 years ago.

The Kotel "plaza" is outside the Temple Mount. Every prayer of ours - Amida and Birkat HaMazon - includes a supplication to once again be able to serve Hashem on the other side of the Kotel; from inside the rebuilt Bet HaMikdash.

When seeing the place where the Bet HaMikdash stood, one needs to do Kri'a; tear one's clothes in the same way that mourners do.

One only needs to tear Kri'a if one hasn't been in Jerusalem for 30 days or longer.

Source Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 561

 הָרוֹאֶה אֶת יְרוּשָׁלַיִם בְּחֻרְבָּנָהּ, אוֹמֵר: צִיּוֹן הָיְתָה מִדְבַּר שְׁמָמָה וְקוֹרֵע; 

וּכְשֶׁרוֹאֶה בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ, אוֹמֵר: בֵּית קָדְשֵׁנוּ וְתִפְאַרְתֵּנוּ אֲשֶׁר הִלְלוּךָ (בּוֹ) אֲבוֹתֵינוּ הָיָה לִשְׂרֵפַת אֵשׁ וְכָל מַחְמָדֵנוּ הָיָה לְחָרְבָּה, וְקוֹרֵעַ. 

וּמֵהֵיכָן חַיָּב לִקְרֹעַ? מִן הַצּוֹפִים; וְאַחַר כָּךְ כְּשֶׁיִּרְאֶה הַמִּקְדָּשׁ קוֹרֵעַ קֶרַע אַחֵר, 

וְכָל קְרִיעָה טֶפַח.

כָּל הַקְּרָעִים הָאֵלּוּ בְּיָדוֹ וּמְעֻמָּד, וְקוֹרֵעַ כָּל כְּסוּתוֹ שֶׁעָלָיו עַד שֶׁיְּגַלֶּה אֶת לִבּוֹ, 

וְאֵינוֹ מְאַחֶה קְרָעִים אֵלּוּ לְעוֹלָם; אֲבָל רַשַּׁאי לְשָׁלְלָן, לְמָלְלָן, לְלַקְּטָן וּלְתָפְרָן כְּמִין סֻלָּמוֹת.

הָיָה הוֹלֵךְ וּבָא לִירוּשָׁלַיִם, הוֹלֵךְ וּבָא תּוֹךְ ל' יוֹם, אֵינוֹ קוֹרֵעַ קֶרַע אַחֵר; 

וְאִם לְאַחַר ל' יוֹם, חוֹזֵר וְקוֹרֵעַ וְהוּא הַדִּין בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבַמִּקְדָּשׁ.

The prevalent Yerushalmi custom is not to tear Kri'a on those days when one doesn't say Tachanun, including Friday afternoons.

- Danny Schoemann

Wednesday, 28 Iyar 5784 - Yom Yerushalayim - 43rd day of the Omer

Please daven for the full recovery of the seriously wounded soldier:

מֹשֶׁה אַהֲרֹן בֶּן לֵאָה בֵּילָא לרפואה שלמה 

Halocho #1582 - Why be sad when visiting the Kotel?

The Kotel ("Wailing wall") is the Western retaining wall of the Temple Mount where the Bet Hamikdash (Temple) stood until it was destroyed over 1,900 years ago.

The Kotel "plaza" is outside the Temple Mount. Every prayer of ours - Amida and Birkat Hamazon - includes a supplication to once again be able to serve Hashem on the other side of the Kotel; from inside the rebuilt Bet Hamikdash.

When seeing the place where the Bet Hamikdash stood, one needs to do Kri'a; tear one's clothes in the same way that mourners do.

One only needs to tear Kri'a if one hasn't been in Jerusalem for more than 30 days.

Source: Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 561

The prevalent Yerushalmi custom is to not tear Kri'a on days one doesn't say Tachanun, including Friday afternoons.

- Danny

Sunday, 28th day of the Omer, Yom Yerushalayim, 5775

הָרוֹאֶה עָרֵי יְהוּדָה בְּחֻרְבָּנָן אוֹמֵר: עָרֵי קָדְשְׁךָ הָיוּ מִדְבָּר, וְקוֹרֵעַ וְאֵינוֹ חַיָּב לִקְרֹעַ אֶלָּא כְּשֶׁמַּגִּיעַ סָמוּךְ לָהֶם כְּמִן הַצּוֹפִים לִירוּשָׁלַיִם

רוֹאֶה אֶת יְרוּשָׁלַיִם בְּחֻרְבָּנָהּ, אוֹמֵר: צִיּוֹן הָיְתָה מִדְבַּר שְׁמָמָה וְקוֹרֵע; וּכְשֶׁרוֹאֶה  בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ, אוֹמֵר: בֵּית קָדְשֵׁנוּ וְתִפְאַרְתֵּנוּ אֲשֶׁר הִלְלוּךָ (בּוֹ) אֲבוֹתֵינוּ הָיָה לִשְׂרֵפַת אֵשׁ וְכָל מַחְמָדֵנוּ הָיָה לְחָרְבָּה,  וְקוֹרֵעַ. וּמֵהֵיכָן חַיָּב לִקְרֹעַ, מִן הַצּוֹפִים; וְאַחַר כָּךְ כְּשֶׁיִּרְאֶה הַמִּקְדָּשׁ קוֹרֵעַ קֶרַע אַחֵר, וְכָל קְרִיעָה טֶפַח; וְאִם בָּא דֶּרֶךְ הַמִּדְבָּר, שֶׁאָז רוֹאֶה הַמִּקְדָּשׁ תְּחִלָּה, קוֹרֵעַ עַל הַמִּקְדָּשׁ, טֶפַח, וְאַחַר כָּךְ כְּשֶׁיִּרְאֶה יְרוּשָׁלַיִם מוֹסִיף עַל קֶרַע רִאשׁוֹן כָּל שֶׁהוּא

אִם קָרַע עַל אַחַת מֵעָרֵי יְהוּדָה, אֵינוֹ חוֹזֵר וְקוֹרֵעַ כְּשֶׁיִּרְאֶה שְׁאָר עָרֵי יְהוּדָה; חוּץ מִירוּשָׁלַיִם, שֶׁחוֹזֵר וְקוֹרֵעַ עָלֶיהָ קֶרַע אַחֵר בִּפְנֵי עַצְמוֹ; וְאִם קָרַע עַל יְרוּשָׁלַיִם תְּחִלָּה, אֵינוֹ צָרִיךְ לִקְרֹעַ עַל שְׁאָר עָרֵי יְהוּדָה. 

כָּל הַקְּרָעִים הָאֵלּוּ בְּיָדוֹ וּמְעֻמָּד, וְקוֹרֵעַ כָּל כְּסוּתוֹ שֶׁעָלָיו עַד שֶׁיְּגַלֶּה אֶת לִבּוֹ, וְאֵינוֹ  מְאַחֶה קְרָעִים אֵלּוּ לְעוֹלָם; אֲבָל רַשַּׁאי לְשָׁלְלָן, לְמָלְלָן, לְלַקְּטָן וּלְתָפְרָן כְּמִין סֻלָּמוֹת

 הָיָה הוֹלֵךְ וּבָא  לִירוּשָׁלַיִם, הוֹלֵךְ וּבָא תּוֹךְ ל' יוֹם, אֵינוֹ קוֹרֵעַ קֶרַע אַחֵר; וְאִם לְאַחַר ל' יוֹם, חוֹזֵר וְקוֹרֵעַ וְהוּא הַדִּין בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבַמִּקְדָּשׁ

Halocho #1005 - Why will we fast on Sunday?

This coming Sunday - 10 Tevet - עשרה בטבת - we fast to commemorate the beginning of the siege against Jerusalem.

Almost 2,500 years ago the wicked King Nebuchadnezzar laid siege against Jerusalem which culminated in the destruction of the first Bet Hamikdash, a year and a half later.

This is the King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon in whose court Daniel (who survived the lion's den) served.

The purpose of the fast is to awaken us to repent; if the Bet Hamikdash has not been rebuilt then we suffer from similar deficiencies that caused it to be destroyed.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 121:3

Trivia: This will be the second fast of Asara B'Tevet during 2012. :-)

- Danny
Monday, 4 Tevet 5773

Halocho #853 - Why be sad when visiting the Kotel?

The Kotel ("Wailing wall") is the Western retaining wall of the Temple Mount where the Bet Hamikdash (Temple) stood until it was destroyed over 1,900 years ago.

The Kotel "plaza" is outside the Temple Mount. Every prayer of ours - Amida and Birkat Hamazon - includes a supplication to once again be able to serve Hashem on the other side of the Kotel; from inside the rebuilt Bet Hamikdash.

When seeing the place where the Bet Hamikdash stood, one needs to do Kri'a; tear ones clothes in the same way that mourners do.

One only needs to tear Kri'a if one hasn't been in Jerusalem for more than 30 days.

Source Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 561

The prevalent Yerushalmi custom is to not tear Kri'a on days one doesn't say Tachanun, including Friday afternoons.

- Danny
Monday, 23 Tamuz 5771

Halocho #763 - Mourning the Bet Hamikdash in Adar

The second Bet Hamikdosh was dedicated today - 3 Adar - about 2356 years ago. (Ezra 6: 15)

After the destruction of the Temple, Chazal (the Sages of blessed memory) instituted that at all joyous occasions we remember the destruction, including:

- At festive meals one should leave out one serving dish
- A woman should not wear all her jewelery together
- At the engagement a plate is broken - though it should be a damaged plate
- At the wedding a glass cup is broken
- The bride's veil shouldn't have gold or silver threads
- The groom has ashes placed on his hair (where he places his Tefillin) before the wedding

This way we fulfill the verse "If I forget thee, O Jerusalem...if I prefer not Jerusalem above my chief joy." (Psalms 137: 6-7)

Source: Kitzur Shulchon Aruch 126:1-2

- Danny
Wednesday, 3 Adar II 5771

Halocho #709 - Why will we fast on Friday?

This Friday - 10 Tevet - we fast to commemorate the beginning of the siege against Jerusalem.

Almost 2,500 years ago the wicked King Nebuchadnezzar laid siege against Jerusalem which culminated in the destruction of the first Bet Hamikdash, a year and a half later.

This is the King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon in whose court Daniel (who survived the lion's den) served.

The purpose of the fast is to awaken us to repent; if the Bet Hamikdash has not been rebuilt then we suffer from similar deficiencies that caused it to be destroyed.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 121:3

Trivia: We will not fast on Asara B'Tevet during 2011. :-)

- Danny
Sunday, 5 Tevet 5771

Halocho #604 - Why be sad when visiting the Kotel?

The Kotel ("Wailing wall") is the western retaining wall of the Temple Mount where the Bet Hamikdash (Temple) stood until it was destroyed over 1,900 years ago.

The Kotel "plaza" is outside the Temple Mount. Every prayer of ours - Amida and Birkat Hamazon - includes a supplication to once again be able to serve Hashem on the other side of the Kotel; from inside the rebuilt Bet Hamikdash.

When seeing the place where the Bet Hamikdash stood, one needs to do Kri'a; tear ones clothes in the same way that mourners do.

One only needs to tear Kri'a if one hasn't been in Jerusalem for more than 30 days.

Source Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 561

The prevalent Yerushalmi custom is to not tear Kri'a on days one doesn't say Tachanun, including Friday afternoons.

- Danny
Monday, 23 Tamuz 5770

Halocho #567- The Kotel is in our hands

The Kotel ("Wailing wall") is the western retaining wall of the Temple Mount where the Bet Hamikdash (Temple) stood until it was destroyed over 1,900 years ago.

The Kotel "plaza" is outside the Temple Mount. Every prayer of ours - Amida and Birkat Hamazon - includes a supplication to once again be able to serve Hashem on the other side of the Kotel; from inside the rebuilt Bet Hamikdash.

When seeing the place where the Bet Hamikdash stood, one needs to do Kri'a; tear ones clothes in the same way that mourners do.

One only needs to tear Kri'a if one hasn't been in Jerusalem for 30 days or longer.

Source Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 561

The prevalent Yerushalmi custom is not to tear Kri'a on days one doesn't say Tachanun, including Friday afternoons.

- Danny
Wednesday, 28 Iyar 5770 - Yom Yerushalayim - 43rd day of the Omer

Halocho # 479 - Why do we fast today?

Today - 10 Tevet - we fast to commemorate the beginning of the siege against Jerusalem.

In the year 3,338 the wicked King Nebuchadnezzar laid siege against Jerusalem which culminated in the destruction of the first Bet Hamikdash, a year and a half later.

This is the King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon in whose court Daniel (who survived the lion's den) served.

The purpose of the fast is to awaken us to repent; if the Bet Hamikdash has not been rebuilt then we suffer from similar deficiencies that caused it to be destroyed.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 121:3

- Danny
Sunday, 10 Tevet 5770

Halocho #388 - Facing Jerusalem during Davening

One should face Jerusalem during Davening, especially during the silent Amida.

In Jerusalem one should face the Temple Mount, and the place where the Kodesh-Kodashim (the Holies of Holies in the Bet Hamikdash) was.

If one started the Amida facing the wrong direction one may not change direction, though - if practical - one should turn ones face to the correct direction.

If there are non-Jewish religious emblems in ones line of vision, one should pray towards another direction.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 18:10

- Danny Tuesday, 21 Av 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for Tamar bat Naama - תמר בת נעמה

Halocho #384 - Why is Tu B'Av a joyous day?

A number of joyous events happened over the years on Tu B'Av.

- It was the day the Generation-of-the-Wilderness realized that the sin of the spies had been forgiven, in the year 2488.

- It was the day that the tribes were allowed to intermarry, including orphaned daughters (as per Bemidbar 36:8) once all those who conquered the Land had passed away.

- On the same day the tribe of Binyamin were allowed to intermarry with other tribes, after the scandal of Give'ah (as per Shoftim 19 - 21), around the year 2524.

- It was the day that King Hoshea ben Elah removed the blockades that the wicked King Yerav'am ben Nevat had placed on the roads, preventing the Jews from going to Jerusalem for the Festivals about 75 years earlier, around the year 3040.

- It was the day the Romans allowed those massacred by the wicked Hadrian in Beitar to be buried, some time after he died in 138 (C.E).

- It was the day they stopped chopping wood for the altar in the Bet Hamikdash every year, as it marks the end of "summer" (as per Rashi on Breishis 8:22) and the start of the 2 months of "heat". The wood had to be worm free to be used on the altar, and had to be fully dried before the rainy season.

This gave everybody more time for learning Torah - and therefore Tu B'Av is the Joyous Day of Increased Torah Learning.

Source: The Book of our Heritage, Vol 3 page 307-313

Increase Torah learning on FaceBook; click on http://www.new.facebook.com/groups/edit.php?members&gid=2387884087and invite your Jewish friends to sign up to this Torah group.

- Danny Tuesday, 14 Av 5769, Erev Tu B'Av 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery of Chava Elya Rivka Bat Kayla's eyesight

Halocho #369 - Why be sad when visiting the Kotel?

The Kotel ("Wailing wall") is the western retaining wall of the Temple Mount where the Bet Hamikdash (Temple) stood until it was destroyed over 1,900 years ago.

The Kotel "plaza" is outside the Temple Mount. Every prayer of ours - Amida and Birkat Hamazon - includes a supplication to once again be able to serve Hashem on the other side of the Kotel; from inside the rebuilt Bet Hamikdash.

When seeing the place where the Bet Hamikdash stood, one needs to do Kri'a; tear ones clothes in the same way that mourners do.

One only needs to tear Kri'a if one hasn't been in Jerusalem for 30 days or longer.

Source Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 561

The prevalent Yerushalmi custom is not to tear Kri'a on days one doesn't say Tachanun, including Friday afternoons.

- Danny Tuesday, 22 Tamuz 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for Tamar bat Naama - תמר בת נעמה

Halocho #241 - Why do we fast tomorrow?

Tomorrow - 10 Tevet - we fast to commemorate the beginning of the siege against Jerusalem.

In the year 3,338 the wicked King Nebuchadnezzar laid siege against Jerusalem which culminated in the destruction of the first Bet Hamikdash, a year and a half later.

This is the King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon in whose court Daniel (who survived the lion's den) served.

The purpose of the fast is to awaken us to repent; if the Bet Hamikdash has not been rebuilt then we suffer from similar deficiencies that caused it to be destroyed.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 121:3

- Danny

 Monday, 9 Tevet 5769

Please daven for a complete recovery for Tamar bat Naama - תמר בת נעמה

Halocho #172 - Is a grafted Etrog Kosher?

On Sukkoth there's a Mitzva to shake the four species; a Lulav, 3 Haddasim, 2 Aravot and an Etrog.

The Etrog is a citron; Citrus Medica.

It is held in ones left hand when shaking the four species, with the stem (where it was cut off the tree) facing downwards.

By nature the Etrog tree is very soft (mine buckled during a light Jerusalem snow storm), therefore it is often grafted onto other trees to make it stronger.

An Etrog from a grafted tree cannot be used when shaking the four species. (Grafted fruit is Kosher to eat, despite the prohibition against grafting trees.)

The Etrog needs to be whole; scratches and dents may invalidate it.

The Etrog should not have dark dots on it, though it may have light scabs that are a result of leaves and thorns brushing against it while it grows. (Etrog trees have thorns that grow to about 2" long.)

The "nose" of the the Etrog - from where it starts getting narrow - should be perfectly clean.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 174:2, Shulchan Aruch 648

Ktiva Vechatima Tova; wishing you happy year to come

- Danny Monday, 15 Elul 5768

Written in memory of my grandfather - Yehuda ben Yissoschor - whose 21st Yahrzeit is today.

Halocho #130 - Seeing the Temple Mount for the first time

The Kotel ("Wailing wall") is the western retaining wall of the Temple Mount where the Bet Hamikdash (Temple) stood until it was destroyed over 1,900 years ago. The Kotel "plaza" is outside the Temple Mount. Every prayer of ours - Amida and Birkat Hamazon - includes a supplication to once again be able to serve Hashem on the other side of the Kotel; from inside the rebuilt Bet Hamikdash. When seeing the place where the Bet Hamikdash stood, one needs to do Kri'a; tear ones clothes in the same way that mourners do. One only needs to tear Kri'a if one hasn't been in Jerusalem for 30 days or longer. Source Shulchan Aruch, OC 561 The prevalent Yerushalmi custom is not to tear Kri'a on days one doesn't say Tachanun, including Friday afternoons. - Danny Jerusalem, Thursday, 21 Tamuz 5768

Please daven for a little girl - TAMAR bat NAAMA - תמר בת נעמה

Halocho #122 - Why do we fast?

We fast on those days when misfortune happened to the Jewish people as a reminder to improve our ways. Those who treat a fast day as a semi-holiday and go on trips are missing the point. Fast days should be dedicated to introspection and figuring out which Mitzvot to take more seriously. On Sunday will be the fast of 17 Tammuz when 5 major misfortunes happened to the Jewish people:

1. Moshe Rabbeinu broke the luchot - the tablets - upon seeing the Golden Calf being worshiped
2. The daily Tamid sacrifice was suspended in the first Bet Hamikdash (temple) a result of the siege which led up to the destruction 3 weeks later.
3. At the time of the 2nd Bet Hamikdash the walls of Jerusalem were breached by the enemy, 3 weeks before the destruction
4. Apustumus the wicked [Roman] burned a Sefer Torah
5. An idol was placed in the Bet Hamikdash

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 121:1, 4 - Danny Tuesday, 12 Tammuz 5768

Please daven for a little girl - TAMAR bat NAAMA - תמר בת נעמה

Halacho #76 – Pessach starts on Purim

On the afternoon of the fast of Esther (today - Thursday), the custom is to give 3 halves of the local currency to charity. In Israel that would be 3 half-shekels, other places it would be three times 50 cents.

This commemorates the biblical half-shekel given yearly to buy the communal sacrifices during the time of the Bet Hamikdash – which today would be about US$ 15.-

This is besides the Matonos L’evyonium that are given to 2 poor people on Purim. (Each Matonos L’evyonium have the value of a small meal, e.g. a falafel, currently 12 NIS in Israel.)

The Purim meal should begin with a Dvar-Torah. Since Purim is 30 days before Pessach, the following is an appropriate Purim-meal Dvar-Torah:

“The laws of Pessach in Shulchan Aruch begin with: One should start learning the laws of Pessach thirty days before Pessach.”

This year (outside of Jerusalem and other walled cities) the Purim meal is on Friday and needs to start in the morning, so as not to spoil ones appetite for the Friday-night meal.

Source: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 141:5, 142:5. Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 429:1

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The next Halocho a Day is planned for Monday

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Have a joyful Purim and a Shabbat Shalom,

- Danny, in Jerusalem

Halocho #72 - Three-fold Purim

This year Purim is on Friday (21 March) and Shushan-Purim is on Shabbos, so cities that celebrate Shushan-Purim - like Jerusalem and Shushan (Susa, Iran) - will celebrate in 3 parts: 1. Friday:

• Megila reading is on Thursday night and Friday morning, like everybody else
• Matonos L'evyonim is given to the needy on Friday.

2. Shabbos:

• Al-Hanisim is added to Bircas Hamozon and the Amida.
• The Torah Reading for Purim (Shmos 17:8-16) is read as Maftir. (The same Haftoro is read as the previous week - Shmuel-1 Ch. 15.)
• One should learn some Halochos of Purim.

3. Sunday:

• Mishloach Monos is sent.
• The Purim feast is eaten.

This is the opinion of the Shulchan Oruch. Some people also do #3 on Shabbos. Others send Mishloach Monos on Friday. Source: Shulchan Oruch, Orach Chaim 688:6, Mishna Brura ibid. Shmos 17:8-16 8 : Then came Amolek, and fought with Israel in Rephidim. 9 : And Moshe said to Joshua: "Choose men, and go fight with Amlek: tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of G-d in my hand". 10 : So Joshua did as Moshe had said to him, and fought with Amolek: and Moshe, Aaron, and Chur went up to the top of the hill. 11 : And it came to pass, when Moshe held up his hand, that Israel prevailed: and when he let down his hand, Amolek prevailed. 12 : But Moshe's hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Chur supported up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. 13 : And Joshua weakened Amolek and his people with the the sword. 14 : And the Hashem said to Moshe: "Write this for a memorial in the book, and rehearse it in the ears of Joshua: for I will utterly wipe out the remembrance of Amolek from under heaven. 15 : And Moshe built an altar, and called the name of it "Hashem did miracles": 16 : And he said, "Because the Hashem has sworn that Hashem will have war with Amolek from generation to generation."

Halocho #71 - Kiddush wine

The Torah commands us to verbally sanctify the Shabbos. Chazal instituted that this be done with a cup of wine; Kiddush on Friday night and Havdolo on Motzai Shabbos. It's a Mitzva to use good wine; red if possible. However one may use grape juice if needed. One should glance at the Shabbos candles during the first part of Kiddush - while reciting Vayechulu. Reminder: This Shabbos is Parshas Zochor (even in Jerusalem) and it's a Mitzva to hear it being read in shul. Source: Kitzur SA 77: 1,3 Shabbat Shalom - Danny ============================================== Mazal Tov to my brother Myckey on the engagement of his eldest daughter. http://www.onlysimchas.com/v4/index.cfm/fuseaction:simcha.view/simchaid:73628 ==============================================

Halocho #67 - Mourning the Beis Hamikdash in Adar

The second Beis Hamikdosh was dedicated today - 3 Adar - some 2355 years ago. (Ezra 6: 15) After the destruction of the Temple, Chazal (the Sages of blessed memory) instituted that at all joyous occasions we remember the destruction, including: - At festive meals one should leave out one serving dish - A woman should not wear all her jewelery together - At the engagement a plate is broken - though it should be a damaged plate - At the wedding a glass cup is broken - The bride's veil shouldn't have gold or silver threads - The groom has ashes placed on his hair (where he places his Tefillin) before the wedding This way we fulfill the verse "If I forget thee, O Jerusalem...if I prefer not Jerusalem above my chief joy." (Psalms 137: 6-7) Source: Kitzur Shulchon Aruch 126:1-2

סימן קכו – לעשות זכר לחורבן

סעיף א - משחרב בית המקדש תקנו חכמינו זכרונם לברכה שבכל שמחה יהא בה זכר לחורבן כמו שנאמר אם אשכחך ירושלים וגו' אם לא אעלה את ירושלים על ראש שמחתי, וגזרו שלא יבנה לו ישראל בנין מסוייד ומצוייר כבנין המלכים. ולא יסיד את כל ביתו בסיד אלא טח ביתו בטיט וסד בסיד ומניח בו אמה על אמה כנגד הפתח בלא סיד כדי לזכור החורבן, ומה שלא נהגו כן עתה לא ידענו טעם ברור. סעיף ב - וכן תקנו שהעורך שלחן לעשות סעודה לאורחים אפילו סעודת מצוה לא יתן כל התבשילין הראויין לסעודה, וכן האשה לא תתקשט בכל תכשיטיה בפעם אחת, והחתן קודם חופתו נותנים אפר על ראשו במקום הנחת תפילין, והמכסה שמכסין בה את הכלה לא יהיו בה חוטי כסף או זהב, גם נוהגין שבשעת כתיבת התנאים אחר קריאתן שוברין קדרה לעשות זכר לחרבן אבל יש ליקח קדרה שבורה, ותחת החופה שובר החתן כלי זכוכית וזה יכול להיות כוס שלמה.